On a snowy November day, my daughter Kit and I were dividing four boxes of tree ornaments to set up her Christmas tree at her new place. Unpacking the decorations brought back memories of past losses and the years spent fostering children who were no longer with us during the holidays.
Over eight years, we welcomed and said goodbye to 23 foster children, with many placements being temporary. Kit surprised me by remembering the stories behind each homemade ornament, even those crafted by children she had never met. As we reminisced, I realized that her holiday memories differed from mine.
One special ornament was a tree topper from our first Christmas together as a married couple. Despite the crack on the angel’s wings, symbolizing the fracture in our marriage, Kit eagerly accepted it. She recalled how she always wanted to be the one to place the angel on top of the tree but was never tall enough until now.
Among the ornaments was a Santa sleigh and reindeer made by an eight-year-old foster child at a Christmas party. Reflecting on the child’s departure from our lives, I felt a mix of sorrow and frustration. Kit, noticing my emotions, shared fond memories of playing with the ornament and likened it to scenes from a favorite Christmas movie.
Our family had a tradition of making the holidays inclusive for foster children by holding Christmas dinners on alternate days to accommodate their family visits. We also gifted each child unique ornaments, allowing them to choose whether to leave them with us or take them as mementos when they left our care.
As we unpacked more ornaments, including a reindeer made of pompoms by a nine-year-old, Kit and I shared laughter and cherished memories. She expressed how certain ornaments brought her comfort and continuity, regardless of where she spent Christmas.
Decorating the tree this year feels different, as Kit’s joyous spirit and appreciation for the ornaments overshadow any lingering sadness. I eagerly anticipate seeing her beautifully adorned tree, filled with memories and love shared through each ornament.
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